Now that I'm older...
  • I started out with nothing, I still have most of it.
  • My wild oats have turned to prunes and All Bran.
  • I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
  • Funny, I don't remember being absent minded :o)
  • All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.
  • If all is not lost, where is it?
  • It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
  • Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
  • I wish the buck stopped here. I sure could use a few. :o)
  • Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
  • It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
  • Only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
  • If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
  • When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?
  • It's not hard to meet expenses they're everywhere.
  • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  • Don't sweat petty things and don't pet sweaty things.
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